*Teaching Conversation Skills*

Level 3: Expressive LanguageConversation skills are something we take for granted. We engage in conversations seamlessly and without second thought. We don’t need to remind ourselves to comment when someone is telling us a story or what appropriate body language looks like when engaging in small talk with a coworker. It’s second nature. All of those social skill rules related to having a conversation are engrained in our head. We know the correct volume to talk, we know to ask reciprocal questions, and we know how to switch topics appropriately. We are lucky. However for some of our learners with autism – navigating the dangerous minefield of engaging in a conversation is about as terrifying as a Monday morning without coffee. Keeping track of all of these rules is overwhelming to say the least. Some of our kids don’t pick up these rules naturally – they need to be directly taught. The pressure is on, teacher friends!So where the heck do we even start with this monumental task?Here a few key skills to focus on:*Commenting*Commenting is huge. You may want to work on this with your husband too and teach him the importance of those head nods and uhuhs as you tell him the 25 minute story about what happened to you while you were at starbucks this morning. Commenting is essential because it lets others know that you are listening to them. It lets them know you are engaged and you are paying attention. People like to talk to people who pay attention to them. Cough, cough… husband. We want our students to be people that others want to talk to.*Reciprocal Questions*It’s generally considered rude when someone asks you how you are and you don’t ask them back. People take that as a lack of interest. It’s just not very nice. Friends are interested in their friends. When a friend gets asked a question, they ask it back because they are interested in their friend’s response. (Social Thinking’s Unwonderer)*Staying on Topic*Sometimes our kids can be all me, me, me. If given the option the would spend all day talking about Cars 2 and Lightening McQueen and be completely happy as a clam. But guess what? Nobody wants to be friends with that kid. Nobody wants to spend all day talking about one topic. We need our kids to be flexible and be willing to talk about topics that aren’t their favorite. That means staying on topic and not diverting it to reptiles or American Airlines the second they get the chance.*Initiating Conversations*Some of our kids may be great conversationalists once they get on a roll when someone starts chatting them up. But what about beginning a conversation on their own? It’d be a boring world if we sat around all day waiting for others to talk to us. We want our learners to appropriately and effectively initiate their own conversations without missing a beat.Now that we have some skills to focus on – how do we teach these concepts? It’s all about modeling and practicing. Our kids need so.much.practice on this. They need to see the appropriate way of doing things time and time again before they are able to do it on their own. Don’t let this discourage you. It will get there. And when it does *– it’s oh so rewarding*